Chinese Jewish teen author helps others navigate grief and identity

As a young girl, Amelie Suskind Liu often announced to her family, “I want to make an impact on the world.” Now, at the age of 17, this Chinese Jewish girl is well on her way to reaching that goal by helping others find comfort with the enormous challenges of grief and identity. She calls it, appropriately, tikkun olam .

Liu, a junior at the University Chicago Laboratory Schools, says the pandemic forced her to deal with those issues of grief and identity in her own life, including the death of her father. A Chicago pediatric surgeon, her father, Donald Liu, drowned in Lake Michigan in 2012 while rescuing two children caught in a current. Amelie was only 7 at the time.

“I realized that I had basically an emotional backpack that hadn’t been opened in eight years because I didn’t really have the mental capacity at seven to deal with all of that,” she said. Recognizing she’d lost touch with her Chinese heritage when her father died, Liu also began wrestling with her identity.

Through endless conversations with her bubbe while quarantining together during the pandemic, Liu explored her connection to both Jewish and Asian cultures. “I realized that I really didn’t see the beauty in my cultures. I was kind of sad that I looked Asian and not like my Jewish family, and I wished I had looked more Jewish on the outside because I felt so Jewish on the inside, and talking through that with her, made me realize that I should feel proud of my cultures,” Liu said.

Then, amidst a rise in Asian-American hate and after a fellow student targeted her with a racist comment, Liu decided it was time to make a positive change on both fronts–grief and identity.

Picking up the baton from her sister who had launched Slap’d–“Surviving Life After A Parent Dies,” ( slapd.com )–Liu developed Peer Healing, a virtual teen grief support curriculum. With the help of the National Alliance for Grieving Children, Liu is piloting the 10-week program at grief centers nationwide.

“The main aspect of it is community building and sharing stories and providing support from people who know what it’s like to lose a loved one,” Liu explained, acknowledging that the need for the program has grown given the number of teens who have lost parents due to COVID.

At the same time, those long talks with her grandmother and their mutual love of writing led the duo to pen a children’s book, Matzo Ball-Wonton Thanksgiving , published last November. It tells the story of a young girl whose Bubbe and Nai arrive on the holiday prepared to each make their famous matzoh ball and wonton soups.

“Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. It’s the time where my cultures mixed. We had turkey, but we would also have matzoh balls, and we’d have dumplings and Chinese food,” Liu said, pointing out the similarities between the two cultures. “They’re so centered around food and family and being together and loving each other and just listening to each other.”

Since the book’s release, Liu has enjoyed fulfilling feedback from adults including teachers who share that it provided a better understanding of their biracial students. After reading the book to children, Liu found warmth and joy as members of her audience responded with their own multicultural stories.

“I think it’s showing people that really there are many faces of what Judaism looks like, and there’s many faces of what being Chinese looks like and even other cultures,” she said, adding, “I really want younger children to realize that they should feel proud of their multiculturalism.”

All proceeds from the sale of Liu’s book will benefit the National Alliance for Children’s Grief in honor of her late father.

Julie Mangurten Weinberg is a Northbrook-based journalist with more than 20 years of experience in broadcast, print, and digital media.