Podcast reveals 35-year-old secret

After 35 years, Angie Offstein’s secret is out. “I feel like I was a shell,” she said. “This secret just burrowed so deep inside of me and just kept growing in ways that I didn’t even know until it was done and over.”

Offstein reveals her secret–the dramatic story of her teenage pregnancy–in Held: A Podcast Mini-Series . Released this past July, it was hosted and co-produced by Glencoe’s Karri Offstein Rosenthal, her sister-in-law, an experienced podcaster.

With honesty and raw emotion, Offstein talks about her extreme efforts to hide her expanding belly from her family and friends in suburban St. Louis, the process of giving up the baby for adoption, and her decision to never speak of it again, until she got a phone call two years ago exposing her reality.

“Every single emotion inside of me exploded,” Offstein said from her Colorado home. “I have this visual of the walls just tumbling down, everything crumbling and shattering. And then I felt like I was building from the ground up.” After a year of intense therapy, she decided to tell all–to everyone.

“I felt like I needed to tell my full truth. Get it all out there, every little bit of it, the real ugly, scary parts, as well as the really good stuff in the end,” she said, explaining it was her idea to expose her story in a podcast.

Through five hour-long episodes, and two bonus hours, Rosenthal digs deep for answers in conversations with Offstein and everyone else directly impacted by the story, including the child she put up for adoption.

Now an adult with children of his own, he began searching for his biological parents with the help of 23andMe, the genetic testing company that uses DNA to facilitate family connections. His results touched off the cascade of events that led to Held . Rosenthal also speaks to Offstein’s parents, the birth father, and the adoptive parents, providing a 360-degree view of the entire saga.

“Everybody decided they wanted to be a part of it, and we were all excited to hear everybody else’s side,” said Offstein.

“It’s a personal journey where there are so many different angles on it, and it teaches us to have an open heart and to be forgiving and generous and offer grace to people,” Rosenthal said.

Since publishing Held , Offstein and Rosenthal have been inundated with hundreds of messages from people who listened and want to share their own similar experiences.

“It hurts to know that someone felt even a fraction of what I felt,” Offstein said. “On the other hand, they feel less alone by hearing me. And I am starting to feel less alone by hearing them.”

At the same time, Offstein is deepening her connection to Judaism thanks to decisions she made decades ago. As a teenager, she chose to collaborate with Jewish Family Services on the adoption. While she grew up Reform, the baby went to a more observant family. All these years later, they are forging bonds, learning, and growing. “They are amazing teachers, and I am a sponge,” she said.

Now, free from the burden of her deep and long-held secret, Offstein looks to the future with excitement and an empowered perspective on her past.

“It’s time to just face your fears,” she said. “Just march through it. Do the things that you were scared to do before. I’m not letting fear, shame, or guilt stop me anymore. We’re done with that.”

Julie Mangurten Weinberg is a Northbrook-based freelance journalist with more than 20 years of experience in broadcast, print, and digital media.