Opening the door to the love of a lifetime
Shaina Sugar
“Welcome!”
It’s August 1999, and the familiar AOL login voice greets me as I sign in amidst the clicking, buzzing, and whirring modem. I’m 17 years old and sitting at my computer, waiting anxiously to enter the “Chicago Jewish Teens” chatroom. I frequented those virtual halls, trying to find what most teens are looking for when bored at home: social connection.
For the better part of three years, I got chills every time I heard that door-creaking-open sound, and waited to see if my long-time crush would enter the “room.” That day, luckily, he popped in!
Brad was a guy in my class. We spoke and interacted from time to time, but it wasn’t anything serious. Yet.
I don’t remember who initiated the conversation, but we got to “IM-ing”–basically, we texted before “texted” was a verb. He told me all about his recent trip to Israel with his Ramah Seminar with contagious excitement. He asked if I wanted to see the recently printed picture album he’d just created from this life-changing experience–actual photographs, not digital images. We made plans to meet up, and he arrived with pictures and stories in hand.
Spoiler: We’ve been together ever since.
We dated throughout our senior year at Ida Crown Jewish Academy, and stayed a couple while attending separate programs in Israel during a gap year. Then, I was slated to attend Boston University, while he was enrolled at University of Michigan. We worked diligently to switch me to his school by applying while still abroad (online applications were not yet a thing). I burned through my cell phone minutes to call my mother, who in turn spent hours on the phone with U of M’s admissions office. Ultimately, I was admitted–and Brad and I were going to college together!
In our sophomore year, he proposed–yes, we were young, but we were in love. The proposal– captured by a friend on a dark and grainy mini-DV tape that included our entire undergrad Ann Arbor Jewish community–was a dream. Community has always been a priority for us ever since our time together in college.
We soon became one of only a handful of married undergrads on a campus of 40,000. The shock and awe of my fellow 20-year-old peers upon the sight of my engagement ring was palpable. They were getting ready for sorority pledging, and I was getting ready to start the rest of my life.
After graduation, we moved back to Chicago and immersed ourselves in this wonderful and diverse Jewish community. Unsurprisingly, we are both Jewish professionals, he at America Jewish World Service and I at URJ 6 Points Specialty Camps.
All of our children currently attend Jewish schools, Chicago Jewish Day School and Rochelle Zell Jewish High School. Their summers are spent at a variety of Jewish summer camps. We are active participants in our entirely lay-led congregation, Kol Sasson, and our family frequently hosts Shabbat meals. We are grateful to participate, and feel at home in, many spaces that make up the vibrant Chicago Jewish community.
It’s no longer a virtual door, but I still get excited when the actual door opens and my best friend, life partner, and husband walks through.
This summer, our oldest son is going to Israel on the Ramah Israel Seminar program. He’ll return from his own life-changing experience a week before our 20th wedding anniversary–and who knows how his own love story might begin?
